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My Favorite Simple Unpleasures

Posted by Dave Muson on 16th Sep 2020

Things That Bring Discomfort to Us All

I'm usually one of those "My cup is more than half full" kind of guys, but not all things taste as good as my salsa. Not everything smells like bacon. And yes, my nerve endings are alive and working very well, thank you very much.

Just as I wrote about Simple Pleasures in life that we all enjoy, there are also Simple Misfortunes or Simple Unpleasures that we all unenjoy. Feel free to add to the list of your favorite unfavorite things but keep it PG please. The death of a pet, your home burning down or a broken spine are not the simple kinds of things I'm talking about.

Sense of Touch
Onions feel stupid
Microfiber
When you turn the water on in the tub and cold water shoots on your back from the showerhead
Biting into something mushy that shouldn’t be mushy
Chewy cow brain taco
Boiled pigskin (chicharrones)
Boiled spinach
Heartburn
Zit inside nose
Slivers
Jammed finger
Hangnail
Sunburn
Getting shocked
Canker sore
A bad tooth
Soggy cereal
Stale bread
Smashed finger in the door
Blister
Earache
Bite your tongue
Bite your cheek
Paper cut
Dirt in eye
Runny nose
Stuffy nose
Mosquito bites
Muscle cramps
Stubbed toe
Poked in the eye
Burned tongue
Tortilla chip pokes the roof of your mouth
Bee sting
Brain freeze

Sense of Hearing
The sound when the word “Onion” is pronounced
Styrofoam pieces rubbing together
Fingernails scraping chalkboard
Grinding of low or no brake pads on rotor
Constant low battery smoke alarm beeps
Whiny kids
Loud children at a nice restaurant
Staticky radio
Talkers in movie theaters
Constant complaining
Overly bossy people
People who chew people out
Radio and TV going at same time in room
Loud offroad tires with road rumble (BF Goodrich are very quiet)

Sense of Smell
Onions
Rotten fish
Sour bath towel
Sour clothes
Hot brakes
Cat spray
Cheaply tanned leather that smells fishy
Dirty dish sponge
Burning clutch
Singed hair
Body Odor
Spoiled milk
Vinegar
Rotten egg
Fresh caught fish
Sulphur Hot Springs
Bad breath
Dirty socks

Sense of Taste
Onions
Leaks
Chives
Scallions
Over cooking
Burnt bread
Soap
Perfume
Liver
Black Licorice

Sense of Sight
Onions are the dumbest looking vegetable
Bleach Spots
Hair in food
Someone cutting themselves
PT Cruisers
Whiteheads
Dried blood that ran down from a picked scab
Little blue or green lights in room when trying to sleep
Burnt cash
Ear wax
Hurt animal in road
Permanently chained up dog
Eagle in a cage
Maggots

Unclassifiable Unpleasures
Onions in food
Polyester bedding (Read what I wrote about Polyester here)
Low quality products that break before they should
Political correctness
Knock offs
Unkept paved roads (Costa Rica, I’m talking about you)
Bad haircut
Step in gum
Flat tire
Stripping a screw
A wet toothbrush that shouldn’t be wet
Overbearing waiter
Salesman following me around the store
Tips automatically included on the restaurant bill
Run out of gas
No toilet paper
No towels
Can’t fully yawn
Gum in hair
Knock offs
Slow drivers in the passing fast lane
Tailgaters
Line cutters

When my kids get a mosquito or ant bite, I sometimes tell them that they can expect that to happen another 200 to 300 times in life. When they smash their fingertip in the door or step in gum, I tell them they can expect that another 50 times in life. Just trying to prepare them for these simple unpleasures that we all experience. Do you have any others for us to read that weren’t on the list or thoughts about these? Post them here for the rest of us to cringe at too.